All Saints and All Souls Days

Week 3/4

As parents, you are no doubt keenly aware of Halloween, that light-hearted festival of the silly and the macabre that comes at the end of each October and brings with it candy, costumes, and jack-o-lanterns.  It's a holiday which is often controversial in some Christian communities because it is often associated with the occult, the demonic, and death.  In general, this kind of concern arises far less among Catholics, not because we approve of the occult or demons (we don't), but in part because of the venerable Catholic tradition of enculturation.  Throughout the centuries, the Church has always been willing to accept what is good in any culture and adapt it to our own traditions.  We may not like the darker elements that are sometimes brought into Halloween, but we don't throw the baby out with the bathwater either.

More importantly, Halloween originated as the vigil of the great Catholic feast of All Hallows, making the night before All Hallows Eve - or, if pronounced too quickly, Halloween.  Catholics are often stereotyped as a people of penance, and while expressing sorrow for our sins is an important part of our faith, we are also a people of great joy and celebration.  The official calendar of the Church is filled with feasts celebrating various saints and aspects of our faith.  On All Saints day, the Church calls us to honor all of the saints in Heaven, especially those who do not have a particular day set aside for their own feast.  The men and women whom we honor on All Saints day are the shining triumph of humanity: people who have lived lives of total dedication to God and who now enjoy the reward to which we are all called.  So important is this feast that in most years it is one of the few holy days of obligation - days on which the Church requires us to attend Mass because of the importance of the celebration. (In 2014, it happens not to be).

Often forgotten is the day following All Saints day: All Souls day.  While on All Saints day we celebrate and honor those who have gone before us and are already enjoying union with God in Heaven, on All Souls day we remember and pray for in a special way those who have passed on from their earthly lives but are undergoing a purification before enjoying full union with the Lord.  Known as Purgatory, this often misunderstood idea that those destined for Heaven will undergo some kind of purification after death is not simply an old and abandoned teaching of the middle ages, but an important truth about the tremendous mercy and love of God.

The best explanation of why we need Purgatory that I ever heard is also the simplest: on earth everyone is sinning, but in Heaven nobody is - and so something happens in between.  Let's face it: we are all attached to our sins.  Most of us don't really want to do the wrong thing in any given situation, but we tend to find ourselves doing it anyways.  We usually acknowledge this in a minor way when it comes time for New Year's resolutions, but when we're honest with ourselves we know that it's more than just overeating, smoking, or being a little more lazy than we should be.  We lose our tempers, lie, take advantage of others, are selfish with our time, don't pray the way we should, and do and fail to do a million other little - and sometimes big - things.

The belief in Purgatory says that God knows this, that he loves us anyways, and that he will "clean us up" to make us the people he made us - and that we want - to be.  What's more, we don't have to wait until we're dead: God gave us what we need to begin the process now through more frequent reception of the Sacraments of Reconciliation and the Holy Eucharist so that we have less cleaning up to do when we move on from this life.

This weekend is a tremendous celebration of these truths of our faith and, ultimately, of that great teaching of the Church on the Communion of Saints.  We say it each week in the Nicene Creed at Mass, but don't often think about what it means - and what it means is really cool.  It means that all of the people of God - those on earth, those in Heaven, and those preparing for Heaven in Purgatory, are united.  We are not separated from those we love who have moved on, but if they are in Christ then we are united to them insofar as we are in Christ, too.  This is one of the reasons that the Church warns us against psychics and other aspects of the occult that we mentioned at the beginning. The people of God are already more intimately connected through Christ than we can possibly imagine; other means of seeking them attempt to circumvent the Lord and somehow get to them apart from him.

In the past, we here on earth were sometimes called the "Church Militant" (along with the "Church Triumphant" in Heaven and the "Church Suffering" in Purgatory).  The term "militant" was intentionally suggestive of action, because we are called to action.  This weekend, remember your membership in the Communion of the Saints.  Turn to the saints in Heaven, those who have gone before us and now see God face to face, and ask them to pray for you and to lead you to the joy in which they now live.  Remember and pray for those who have passed on and who may be, under the gentle care of our merciful Lord, preparing for an eternity of happiness.  Finally, let it all be an inspiration to you to live your faith to its fullest now here on earth, drawing close to that loving and merciful Lord and allowing him to lead you in all things.

God bless, and Happy Halloween!

Synod of Bishops' Message to Families

Earlier this year, I wrote to you about the Extraordinary Synod of Bishops on the Family which was held from October 5th through the 19th of this year.  At the conclusion of the Synod, the Bishops addressed a message to all families of the world - that means you!  Here it is:

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     We, Synod Fathers, gathered in Rome together with Pope Francis in the Extraordinary General Assembly of the Synod of Bishops, greet all families of the different continents and in particular all who follow Christ, the Way, the Truth, and the Life. We admire and are grateful for the daily witness which you offer us and the world with your fidelity, faith, hope, and love.

            Each of us, pastors of the Church, grew up in a family, and we come from a great variety of backgrounds and experiences. As priests and bishops we have lived alongside families who have spoken to us and shown us the saga of their joys and their difficulties.

            The preparation for this synod assembly, beginning with the questionnaire sent to the Churches around the world, has given us the opportunity to listen to the experience of many families. Our dialogue during the Synod has been mutually enriching, helping us to look at the complex situations which face families today.

            We offer you the words of Christ: “Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will enter his house and dine with him, and he with me” (Rev 3:20). On his journeys along the roads of the Holy Land, Jesus would enter village houses. He continues to pass even today along the streets of our cities. In your homes there are light and shadow. Challenges often present themselves and at times even great trials. The darkness can grow deep to the point of becoming a dense shadow when evil and sin work into the heart of the family.

            We recognize the great challenge to remain faithful in conjugal love. Enfeebled faith and indifference to true values, individualism, impoverishment of relationships, and stress that excludes reflection leave their mark on family life. There are often crises in marriage, often confronted in haste and without the courage to have patience and reflect, to make sacrifices and to forgive one another. Failures give rise to new relationships, new couples, new civil unions, and new marriages, creating family situations which are complex and problematic, where the Christian choice is not obvious.

            We think also of the burden imposed by life in the suffering that can arise with a child with special needs, with grave illness, in deterioration of old age, or in the death of a loved one. We admire the fidelity of so many families who endure these trials with courage, faith, and love. They see them not as a burden inflicted on them, but as something in which they themselves give, seeing the suffering Christ in the weakness of the flesh.

            We recall the difficulties caused by economic systems, by the “the idolatry of money and the dictatorship of an impersonal economy lacking a truly human purpose” (Evangelii gaudium 55) which weakens the dignity of people. We remember unemployed parents who are powerless to provide basic needs for their families, and youth who see before them days of empty expectation, who are prey to drugs and crime.

            We think of so many poor families, of those who cling to boats in order to reach a shore of survival, of refugees wandering without hope in the desert, of those persecuted because of their faith and the human and spiritual values which they hold. These are stricken by the brutality of war and oppression. We remember the women who suffer violence and exploitation, victims of human trafficking, children abused by those who ought to have protected them and fostered their development, and the members of so many families who have been degraded and burdened with difficulties. “The culture of prosperity deadens us…. all those lives stunted for lack of opportunity seem a mere spectacle; they fail to move us” (Evangelii gaudium 54). We call on governments and international organizations to promote the rights of the family for the common good.

            Christ wanted his Church to be a house with doors always open to welcome everyone. We warmly thank our pastors, lay faithful, and communities who accompany couples and families and care for their wounds.

***

            There is also the evening light behind the windowpanes in the houses of the cities, in modest residences of suburbs and villages, and even in mere shacks, which shines out brightly, warming bodies and souls. This light—the light of a wedding story—shines from the encounter between spouses: it is a gift, a grace expressed, as the Book of Genesis says (2:18), when the two are “face to face” as equal and mutual helpers. The love of man and woman teaches us that each needs the other in order to be truly self. Each remains different from the other that opens self and is revealed in the reciprocal gift. It is this that the bride of the Song of Songs sings in her canticle: “My beloved is mine and I am his… I am my beloved’s and my beloved is mine” (Song of Songs 2:16; 6:3).

            This authentic encounter begins with courtship, a time of waiting and preparation. It is realized in the sacrament where God sets his seal, his presence, and grace. This path also includes sexual relationship, tenderness, intimacy, and beauty capable of lasting longer than the vigor and freshness of youth. Such love, of its nature, strives to be forever to the point of laying down one’s life for the beloved (cf Jn 15:13). In this light conjugal love, which is unique and indissoluble, endures despite many difficulties. It is one of the most beautiful of all miracles and the most common.

This love spreads through fertility and generativity, which involves not only the procreation of children but also the gift of divine life in baptism, their catechesis, and their education. It includes the capacity to offer life, affection, and values—an experience possible even for those who have not been able to bear children. Families who live this light-filled adventure become a sign for all, especially for young people.

            This journey is sometimes a mountainous trek with hardships and falls. God is always there to accompany us. The family experiences his presence in affection and dialogue between husband and wife, parents and children, sisters and brothers. They embrace him in family prayer and listening to the Word of God—a small, daily oasis of the spirit. They discover him every day as they educate their children in the faith and in the beauty of a life lived according to the Gospel, a life of holiness. Grandparents also share in this task with great affection and dedication. The family is thus an authentic domestic Church that expands to become the family of families which is the ecclesial community. Christian spouses are called to become teachers of faith and of love for young couples as well.

            Another expression of fraternal communion is charity, giving, nearness to those who are last, marginalized, poor, lonely, sick, strangers, and families in crisis, aware of the Lord’s word, “It is more blessed to give than to receive” (Acts 20:35). It is a gift of goods, of fellowship, of love and mercy, and also a witness to the truth, to light, and to the meaning of life.

            The high point which sums up all the threads of communion with God and neighbor is the Sunday Eucharist when the family and the whole Church sits at table with the Lord. He gives himself to all of us, pilgrims through history towards the goal of the final encounter when “Christ is all and in all” (Col 3:11). In the first stage of our Synod itinerary, therefore, we have reflected on how to accompany those who have been divorced and remarried and on their participation in the sacraments.

            We Synod Fathers ask you walk with us towards the next Synod. The presence of the family of Jesus, Mary, and Joseph in their modest home hovers over you. United to the Family of Nazareth, we raise to the Father of all our petition for the families of the world:

            Father, grant to all families the presence of strong and wise spouses who may be the source of a free and united family.

            Father, grant that parents may have a home in which to live in peace with their families.

            Father, grant that children may be a sign of trust and hope and that young people may have the courage to forge life-long, faithful commitments.

            Father, grant to all that they may be able to earn bread with their hands, that they may enjoy serenity of spirit and that they may keep aflame the torch of faith even in periods of darkness.

            Father, grant that we may all see flourish a Church that is ever more faithful and credible, a just and humane city, a world that loves truth, justice and mercy.

Nude Photos and Real Love

Week 2

Right now Hollywood stars and popular culture are giving kids one of the most damaging and troubling messages that I think has ever come out of the entertainment industry – and that’s saying something.  If you’ve been paying even casual attention to the news the past few weeks, you’re well aware of the celebrity nude photo leaks that have been drawing an awful lot of attention.  Jennifer Lawrence, Kate Upton, Kirsten Dunst, and many others fell victim.  Most of the celebrities, as well as editorial commentators, have condemned the incident as despicable, an invasion of privacy, and a sex crime, and some are attempting to take legal action.  They’re absolutely right on all of these counts.  This message that women (and men) are not to be objectified is a good one for our children to hear. 

Yet that “damaging and troubling message” I spoke about is also present.  You may be wondering (I must admit that I did) why the photos existed in the first place.  Jennifer Lawrence, likely the most well-known of the victims and certainly the one most popular with teens, explained in a Vanity Fair interview (some strong language in the original):

“I started to write an apology [for taking the photos], but I don’t have anything to say I’m sorry for. I was in a loving, healthy, great relationship for four years. It was long distance, and either your boyfriend is going to look at porn or he’s going to look at you.” 

Talk to your children about authentic love and healthy relationships.

Teach them that a man or woman who will turn his or her attention to another when you are apart for any period of time does not love you as you deserve.  Teach them that healthy, great relationships do not require a person to make accommodations for their significant other’s wanderings or lack of self-control.  Teach them that they deserve to be loved wholly and entirely, not partly and conditionally.  Teach them that a loving man or woman sees you as so much more than your body, and as infinitely more than an avenue for sex.

Of course, this is about far more than one isolated – though deeply saddening – example.  From movies to television,  music to school-yard banter and beyond, today’s teens are getting a very wrong message about love and relationships.  No, I’m not an old fogey (I like movies and other modern entertainment as much as anyone) and I’m not talking about sex, lust, or even waiting until marriage (as important as it is).  I’m talking about the standard of love and respect that our kids are going to set for themselves when they make decisions about dating, relationships, and even (eventually) choosing a spouse. 

Trite as it may be, they deserve to be treated like the princes and princesses of fairytales, but they’ve been encouraged to accept far lower standards – and far too often this is exactly what they do.  The current trend of sexting and Instagram nudes is one example we are all keenly aware of, but what you may not realize is that it’s frequently not about sex, hormones, or humor but about a teen who thinks that she needs to sext to keep being loved.  It’s relationships where one person does all of the compromising while the other dominates.  It’s teens who think it’s OK or normal to be “negged” (insulted so that your self-confidence is lowered) by their significant other.  It’s these kinds of things which happen all the time and countless more – things which our children deserve far, far better than. 

I know that you’re busy.  I know that you’re overwhelmed at times. I know that between work, managing a home, raising children, and countless other things you barely have a chance to breathe some days, let alone take on something new – but this is important.  Talk to them – and do it today! It will probably be one of the most important things you ever do for your children.  

The Extraordinary Synod on the Family

Week 1

As you may have heard on the news or seen in the papers, there is something very important happening this week in the Church as bishops from all over the world respond to Pope Francis’ call to meet in an extraordinary synod on the family.  The synod follows in the footsteps of one called by Pope St. John Paul II in 1980 on the same general theme and will take place from October 5^th to the 19^th. 

What will the bishops discuss over the course of these two weeks?  It’s likely that you have heard about at least one of the topics: the question of how the Church can better care for divorced and remarried Catholics. Since the Synod was first announced one year ago, the news media and even some bishops have focused heavily on this issue.  However, the bishops will delve into many other topics as well. They will discuss improving marriage preparation programs, how to better educate Catholics on the Church’s teaching on the family, fostering greater familial spirituality, domestic violence, improving ministry to spouses with different faiths, the difficulties posed by tight finances to families, teenage pregnancy, combating the modern tendency to delay or even skip marriage altogether, the difficulties of raising children, and many other issues.  All of this is laid out in a document called Instrumentum Laboris, which was sent to bishops in June and based upon their own reports about how family life has been going in their dioceses.

The Church wants to discuss, come to a greater understanding, and come up with some ideas about all of these topics because the family today is suffering many dangers and attacks from every side.  The synod can be thought of as a kind of “war room” for planning how to protect and promote family life.  For thousands of years, philosophers and political scientists have recognized that families are the building blocks of society and history has borne this out: when the state of family life is going well, societies flourish, and when it is not, societies have tended to crumble.    The Church also holds a unique interest because in a particular way family life is the foundation of Christian life.  After all, God is Himself a family: the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. In the Scripture, the Lord’s first command to humanity was to “be fruitful and multiply,” and since then the people of God have created and raised up families which have served as earthly manifestations of that “communal” love of God.  In fact, Catholic thought has long referred to the family as “the domestic Church!” 

It’s very important to be aware of the full breadth of topics to be discussed next week, but the subject of divorced and remarried Catholics is definitely the hot button issue that we will probably be hearing the most about on the nightly news.  This is not surprising: the population of divorced and remarried Catholics is very large, and it is an area where the Church recognizes a genuine need for better ministry. While we may not be likely to see any earth-shattering moves in this area, Instrumentum Laboris lays out a variety of things that we can expect the bishops to discuss.  First, they will try to find a way to make sure Catholics are better educated on the Church’s teachings about the subject.  For example, the bishops reported that many Catholics think that divorce alone without remarriage poses a problem, when in fact this is not the case.  Similarly, they want to make sure all Catholics understand what annulments really mean – and streamline the process for obtaining one.  Another big point of emphasis will be helping divorced and remarried Catholics to feel more welcome in the Church and to recognize that their presence and prayers belong amongst the flock. 

Can we expect anything else?  Only time will tell.  Ultimately, it is unlikely that we will see much official news from the synod anytime soon.  That will come after weeks or months in the form of one or more documents which will discuss the bishops’ thoughts, concerns, and recommendations.  The news media is likely to offer sensationalized reports of what the synod “says” on almost any of the issues under discussion which might encourage us, discourage us, or create or destroy expectations.  It’s important that we take a measured view of the meeting and let the Holy Spirit do His work.   At the end of the day, God’s in charge – and we can all be thankful for that.